A Really Sad Day...

As mentioned in a famous proverb, "Once bitten twice shy..."

Today, I continued the great saying, "Twice Bitten, Never ever put your hand near it again..."

It took me great courage to stand up again last year. Back then, I have only myself to blame for what had happened. Well, my temper lost everything I owned and I am really determined to change it. I gave it all up. I decided that there is no point in trying so hard as I had lost it totally. Well, sad to say, God gave me another opening. Another time for me to prove that I can still earn everything back to me. All those that once belonged to me. Well, I guess all this is only another joke. A reminder to tell me that I should not step my toes into this anymore.

This time, I did all I could. All I could with all my might. It just did not work out. After throwing everything I had to hold on to that only chance which God gave me, it still slipped away from me just like that. It really hurts. Much more than the other time this happened. I tried everything I could to make her feel secured, fulfilled and complete. Fulfilling everything she wants and everything she needs in life is still not enough.

Today, the truth is out. No matter what I could do, she'd still want an out. I guess no matter how much I'd want to be in her life, there is no way I could let myself stand at her way and stop her from moving on. It would be too selfish of me. From now, it will be on my own, all on my own...

I will continue to work hard but then, who would be there to share my dreams and thoughts with me? My dream of having a nice family is all shattered. It will never be and I guess there are things in life which will never ever meant to be. But then, if your greatest wish in your life is taken away from you, what's there to work hard for?